Idle Thoughts
Yet another semester coming to an end. It's hard to believe that I am halfway through my junior year right now, only 3 semesters to go. I don't really know how to feel about it. On one hand, I'm having a blast here at school and enjoying the carefree attitude. On the other hand, a temporary arrangement such as this creates an uneasy feeling with me. There is a definite end to this period of my life. It does make me feel somewhat restricted in a way because it sometimes feels like I'm not living my 'real' life, it's just a precursor to what I want to eventually end up doing. I know this 'precursor' feeling to my situation is just an illusion, this time in my life is just as real as any other time. In a way, I feel more free in this situation though. I know that there will be an end to my time here, so it makes me want to experience all I can while my responsibilities are minimal.
I often have this fear of what will happen once I graduate. On the base level of this feeling, it's the fear that I won't rise to my own expectations. I won't get the type of job I want or I won't end up living the way I want to live. When I think about this more though, I think the feeling is more a fear of the unknown. When I graduate, there is no possible way of me knowing what will happen. This feeling of uncertainty is quite unnerving at times.
I am learning how to appreciate this feeling though. If this fear, and the energy derived from it, is focused, it can be quite beneficial. These feelings can be focused to more constructive things, such as working to better myself and my future opportunities. I feel that this fear of the unknown can be used as a sort of motivation. This sense of a strong motivation would not be present without this fear. If thought of in this way, this fear is not a curse, but a blessing. Nothing is as disheartening than having no motivation to achieve an expected goal (academic, in this case).
PS: Check out my new background. :)
I often have this fear of what will happen once I graduate. On the base level of this feeling, it's the fear that I won't rise to my own expectations. I won't get the type of job I want or I won't end up living the way I want to live. When I think about this more though, I think the feeling is more a fear of the unknown. When I graduate, there is no possible way of me knowing what will happen. This feeling of uncertainty is quite unnerving at times.
I am learning how to appreciate this feeling though. If this fear, and the energy derived from it, is focused, it can be quite beneficial. These feelings can be focused to more constructive things, such as working to better myself and my future opportunities. I feel that this fear of the unknown can be used as a sort of motivation. This sense of a strong motivation would not be present without this fear. If thought of in this way, this fear is not a curse, but a blessing. Nothing is as disheartening than having no motivation to achieve an expected goal (academic, in this case).
PS: Check out my new background. :)
Posted at
4:22 PM
2 Comments:
That's a neat twist, to appreciate your fear.
But then what about if (in the unlikely case*,) your motivation leads you to disappointment? Then wouldn't your fear increase? ...Because fear of the unknown can sometimes be encouraging, but other times it simply is just downright impeding.
I think I'd appreciate uncertainty about the future more if I faced that fear. Not that I'm that type of person or anything. But idk. Probably the only way to do that is to take more risks. That way, I'd condition myself for finding satisfaction in both successes and disappointments.
Very valid point about finding satisfaction in successes and disapointments. Maybe finding satisfaction in the journey is the key? ;)
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